So fat fat-shaming has once again hit the spotlight, this time thanks to “funny” you-tuber Nicole Arbour. If you have not seen her rant about how fat-shaming isn’t a thing, you can google it. I refuse to put the link here because it is pretty revolting. It sparked outrage from everyone (probably her goal) and not just from fat people. Whitney Way Thore who stars in TLC’s “My Big Fat Fabulous Life” did a brilliant video in response to Nicole Arbour’s that you can see here. It was funny but also addressed the seriousness of the issue. Right, I am gonna go out on a limb, open myself up to being yelled and just call it, fat shaming is a thing and it SO much worse than so-called skinny shaming.
I read articles about both and whilst I sympathise with anyone being shamed for their size, I call BS on the skinny girls who say, “What about us getting picked on for being ‘too skinny’”. In a world that is becoming more obsessed with looks and size as the decades pass, there is no way that being “skinny shamed” even comes close to being called out for being overweight.
What’s my evidence? I am a fat person. I have been big my whole life. Don’t try and tell me that being too thin is just as hard as being too fat. Everything is geared towards thin people. Everything! There are “plus size” stores and “plus size” departments in other stores but nowhere do you see “skinny” sections or “thin stores”. You know why? Because you, as a thin person, can walk into ANY store and find what you are looking for. You will never know the shame of walking into a store only to be told “I do’t think we have anything that will fit you here” (true story). I went shopping with a friend the other day in a “normal” shop and there were 2 and 3 “extra small” sizes of everything and a glaring lack of extra large sizes. It was a demoralising experience. Like most big people I struggle with self esteem and self acceptance all the time. It is hard man! You just start to feel good about yourself and then the world, that is thin-centric, seems to gang up on your to make you feel like shit about yourself. Don’t believe me? Let me give you some examples.
You, skinny person, will never walk into a McDonalds and be looked at with disgust for ordering a Big Mac let alone eating one. You, thin person, will never walk into a nightclub or bar and have punters look at you with distain and revulsion for being too small. You, small-framed people, will NEVER know what it is like to squeeze yourself into an airline seat and suffer the pain of the armrests digging into you the entire flight. YOU, tiny little person, will never have to look through your photos on your phone to find a profile picture where you look half decent or suffer the embarrassment of being told to “move your fat ass” by a random guy in a car park. All of these things have happened to me, some of them more than once. It sucks and I will not subscribe to the idea that “thin shaming” is as bad as “fat shaming”.
I hate that we live in a world where size matters. I really do. I support so much, the idea that what is on the inside is what matters, hell, we ALL know that to be true but in a world of superficiality and first impressions, a skinny person will never be judged in the same way a bigger person is, they just won’t. When people are trying to hurt another person’s feelings, they never tell them they are too thin as a taunt. No woman ever asks, “Does my butt look too small in this?”.
Giuliana Rancic has been quoted as saying that she gets shamed for being thin all the time. People tell her to “eat a burger” all the time apparently. Shit if the hardest part of being thin shamed is being told to eat a burger then sign me up! Hollywood starlets get splashed across the tabloids as being “gaunt” and “frail” and yet young girls (and some of the older ones too) aspire to be just like them. Hollywood is a prime example of how “thin is in”. How many “fat” actresses are working in Hollywood at the moment? A scant few and the ones that are, are the funny ones. Their humour and ability to poke fun at their size makes them saleable. I cannot remember seeing a plus sized woman in a romantic comedy EVER except for the movie Shallow Hal and in that movie, even Jack Black needed his leading lady to look beautiful for him to see how lovely she was on the inside.
Do you know what sucks even more? The working “plus sized” models in the modelling business look like normal women! Seriously?! You want to sit there and tell me that there is some kind of realistic representation of my size 20 body out there in the glossy magazines? These shiny mass marketing vehicles that call themselves “fashion” magazines are being applauded for using “real” women in their publications but for those of us who are over a size 14, there is nothing “real” about that. The simple fact is, the world is uncomfortable looking at a real plus-sized person and when necks are stuck out and actual larger women are used, the outlet who use them are accused of “glorifying bad health”.
No folks, it’s a sad world we live in and even sadder if you happen to be a larger person. I’m sorry but I will never buy that your life is harder than mine because you are “too” thin. Walk a mile in my size 11 shoes for a day (yes, even my feet are fat) and tell me that the sideways glances and sniggering jokes are not that bad. I have a thick skin to go with my thick ankles and for the most part, it slides off my back like bacon grease but I can’t lie and say there are not days when the callous comments leave a scar. I can’t even go shopping for clothes or go to Baskin and Robbins to drown my sorrows either dammit!
Let’s face it, for now, thin is most definitely in and that’s the only shame I will accept.
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